Ecovering

By Suzette

 

The angel flies in and says “stop”.
“God does not ask for human sacrifice”
And what is human for me?
I am feelings.
The angels says “you should not, thou shalt not sacrifice feelings”.
Ecovering feeling, the feelings of home on the earth
Rank and power that expression
Coming to the point
Taking up space
Sounding listen to me look at me I have all the power
Rituals of power I have them all
No arguing with me I do I am immovable

I’m scared there is anguish and suffering and fear on this side
The titanic is going down the lobster claws are trying to escape the bait box
I am not just a piece of meat
This is political doctors and insurance companies
There are more of us than you. people
Where is our power
I need to express my feelings of pain
You are too puffed up with too much power

Angel says ecovering is home and
Home means your deepest feelings and connections
Do not sacrifice your feelings
Power must be connected to feelings
The symbol of freedom
Turning shit to gold
But not to fear the abuse of power
How do I do this to myself?

I am seeing new things the red is also connecting energy
The power and fluidity of blood and I see a white door in the angels eye.
Now I have a white open door and a black shut door
Again the question how am I all these figures and roles inside my self?
What dramas are going to be enacted today?
The doctor becomes a doctor of freedom now
Power to protect freedom
The white door a way to open to different possibilities and
Understandings and use of my power
Wings so many wings and the blood
Blood my life force
Power to protect and express knowledge.

Scoops

By Kara

Ice cream scoops, scooping up skin. This is good for you.
Are you sure its not just cosmetic? Cant we have our bumps and lumps?

Oh, backing up in reverse getting bigger and going away.

Joined together by a wandering corner of toys jumbled on top of each other

Man and machine.

Where did the body go. Ahh I found it, in the space between.
The one that is wearing it.

X Months

By Anon

 

  

I have treated you now x number of months and you should be here.
On the time line, on my scale.
No, my medical, necessary, absolutely, correct plans,
do not include extra time for the extra accidents.
But this is where you should be.
Because this is the norm.

You think I am a malingerer, a freak, a junkie.
One, two, three can speak, master
Bound by the overlying implications of rebellion
Be still, be quiet.
There are others.
They will not hear me.
There are other ways.

Everyone needs to lighten up and see.

Visionaire

By Tara

 

If I don’t see you I wont be wrong in my evaluation.
I won’t have to see your pain and confusion.
I am the valiant victor for me, not for you.
I am in my head, connected to nothing else.
You are round and soft, that I choose not to see you.
I look away; there is nothing more I can do for you.

Two strokes behind an eye.
All at once I cease to exist I am dead.
Not part of this world anymore.
I am left to drown in a dark passage.
Just look pleasant, that’s all.
Be a good girl, accept your fate.

The eagle and the snow leopard will give you back your vision.
Take the higher perspective,
Take back your innate power
And see for yourself.
Be the visionaire.
There are others to help you.
Perhaps you will teach the teacher.

Shhhhh

By Anon

 

Her face is porcelain, hard and unmoving
Stuck in a position of dumb sweetness.
Hard to be this way with no authentic feelings,
Just American bravado and puritan idealism.
shhhhh she says, don’t talk about it.
Just take this pill
Avoiding a response of her true feelings
Her tone of voice says everything
About her disregard for your choices and her righteousness surrounding
what you should do with your body
Shame, shame, shame

Standing with a body open towards the ocean
Our great grandmother goddess of fluidity and open acceptance
We stand proud in feminine beauty, hearing her whispers
Respect and honor what I gave you.
A body to feel, a heart to love.

Two Sides

By Deborah

I am the two sides of the same page
I am the yin and the yang
I am the anger and the vulnerability
The "do what I say" and the "you can’t make me, I don’t wanna".
Please let me be, please accept me the way I am acting right now

I am the bridge of peace and beauty between the warring parts of you.
I am the one who knows how to dance so both parts can see each other.

I am the one hidden at the heart of it all within and behind every other part.

Second Class

In this class we were exploring the feelings and moods we have around chronic pain. The moods that disturb us when we are in pain and the moods we have when not in pain. We made art about each energy and then a mask combining the two energies. A creative array of masks emerged.

Shocking

By Anon

 

The mask was a shock.
So Shocking
Calm, green, serene, dripping of the world.
I have a headache pounding and grinding.
I am wrath, not a clay figure goddess.
I am the heart breaking heaviness of living.
Desolation and despair,
The hammer coming down.
Foot note: not at all what I expected

Okay

By Deborah

Witnessing after the mask making:
Seeing the yin yang of the mask
The other unpainted side
Is this okay, not okay?
I am the mask that has enjoyed being created.
I am the mask that is glad it got made.
I am here to bring you a greater feeling of freedom.
A feeling of expression, something coming out
That’s been long held within.

Mulitlayered Genius

By Anon

Multilayered genius, I say to you
Where are your lines and subtleties?
Where are your circles and boundaries?
Where is your oneness? Gateway,
The bridge between worlds
I stick your face through me and see, see, see
Into the depths of spatial reality
Call back your wholeness your parts back from the places where you left them
They are still there awaiting your embrace.

Plummeting turbulence and joyful chaos

By Susette

The witness of the two facing is:
Plummeting turbulence and joyful chaos
The plummeting turbulence is taking me down and collapsing
The joyful chaos, the zing zang, the right of dance
So much movement involved

Witness of the mask:
Amazing how faces appear from the paint
Large eye framed by the yellow
I see compassion and a symbol of the Tao
A T following the way of what is.

Face of Squares

By Kara

A face of squares makes an odd shape. Diamond eyes.
Interested how the darker mood makes up the body and the lighter mood became strips of hair.
What does it say? It says,
Hey my face is being blown out of shape, a face that dances.
Swinging to one side woo hoo! It’s the cake.
I would put black around the edges of the eyes and tassels on the strips.
It’s not enough time.

First Class

In this class we explored our experience of chronic pain and finding the most disturbing thing about the pain made a drawing of that energy and used the energy to make a doll.  We added an object that represented what caught our attention when listening and looking at others work. We then thought about how the doll could be a companion when we are in pain or suffering.

Paper doll

By Tara

So I am back to my childhood again. I always loved making paper dolls.
Somehow part of a princess was me. It feels good to design a paper doll again.
I see I made a younger version of myself when I had more energy and more optimism. My upper body is mostly healthy my arms are angels wings and they carry me through life. They have energy and move gracefully.
My anger energy is still making itself known, fuel to keep me awake, fuel towards positive change, continuing to burn away what is done and needs to go. Today it is fiery and hurts.
My left thigh has a dull ache where the buzzy spider web energy comes alive. It is an electrical blue, energetic, tingly entity that vibrates and pulses when I am overly stressed. It is a teacher and a healer.
The spirit of the doll shows me that it is the part of me facing the world that expresses stress, anger, energy to fuel positive change.
From the back no one would ever guess what is going on with me.
When I walk in the world or face the perceived realties of my life I am reminded to draw on these two types of energies for strength and fuel.
The doll has been a great tool all my life

 

A red berry to represent the rock of eternity

A strip of violin music across the throat chakra and on it goes from piano soft to crescendo.
And then the pink feather on the left arm an angels wing to help me lift up and through the world

Esthers Space

By Anon

Esther is a little old, ancient actually. She has a rocket ship on her hand that shoots off into cosmic space where it meets a little man by the name of Babu.
Now Babu is a frisky observational little one who gets on the rocket ship and comes back to visit Esther
He says “now, Esther I know you have been hurting, but you got to take care of yourself, humanity is relying on you.”
“Just go slow you got all the time in the world.”
“In fact I brought you a little gift.”
He holds out his hand and ester reaches out to grasp a dark rough rock with white light glitter spots all over it.
It’s a time rock; it makes time stretch and do summersaults. All the things you try to do but your body can’t support you doing that fast you just hold it in your hand and remember you have the power to use time to take care of yourself.
World view
There is a coming together of forces, a grabbing and slowing down. You can do that she says but slowly remember you have the rock of eternity.

All the black it is really dark and also because it is like rock of eternity.

Dark rock holding those things that are hard to look at have to be cherished in order to let the rock shine with healing white light

Door

By Deborah

 

I’m noticing I want to get out, go home and be comfortable doing what I m used to.

Name story.
Terror ... TERROR
I see all the black and the arrows and you’re double sided.
It’s a black door closed on both sides, a heavy black door knob.
Some spots of yellow.
“Okay to resource other peoples work” they said.
I wanted to make it both sided and a red plastic lai for wearing around my neck or for hanging the doll for somewhere or something.
Can’t wait till I can leave here, why did I do this, why sign up for this. Easier to stay home on a Saturday morning.
Martha having radiation, moving from her house
Lawrence ill dealing with bone marrow transplant for heavens sake and Christine dealing with her beloved’s illness
No wonder I dissociate, want to separate. No wonder this is a black hole closed door.
Didn’t color the flip side of the big black poking hole, its white, maybe that is the box no 7 on the faith worksheet
Do I dissociate? Is my writing a way to stay separate from me from it?
The doll scares me I don’t know what to do with it.
My doll has arms legs of pain and anger.
Energy and world view
Wants to be heard wants to be expressed
Feels powerless chaotic
Wants to just express and not do anything. That’s a scary thought
I’d have to wear old clothes if I wanted to wear this around my neck to process with.
The doll is headless. Just a dark closed door

 

  

Lightness of being the feathers

The little scrunchy play of orange on the back and front
There is hope lightness power change
Awareness is curative, Lloyd says
Is it just my mental?
Do I need to explain?

Turtle

By Anon

 

 

I am a lopsided, red eyed, algae coated, moss encrusted, old, slow, ugly flesh, stiff and hard and round, my head is round, my arms are round, my legs are round, no fingers
My body, even the scallops are round, old
Masculine or feminine
Green army rigidity
I am life I glow and sparkle and hurt. I crawl down the middle of your life.
Who am I? Who are you?
I need to stay apart in perfect posture
Do you disappear when you hide? No big shell?
mmm armor equals protection, equals absolutely soft inside, and no defense.

Turtle wanted a necklace out of it
Green was ecology and forward thinking but ultimately it meant old
It also meant the army and the turtle body and being really tough
It also meant eyes and jealousy and desire
With the necklace it meant styling,
Which was questionable,
Which meant,
It didn’t care.

Flying Nun

By Kara

Creaking Knees Color Sketch

 

Flying Nun

I have crumpled two pieces of paper together. The shape reminds me of an old fashioned nuns habit and she has wings. I'm not sure what the yellow stripes are. Maybe it's hair at the back of the head and there are two of them but you only look from this side.Making something that makes itself. There is a container part and a reaching out part.

World view
Is spacious somehow. Reaching out. There are two reflections of each other. Not sure what to say.There is a middle too. She lives on an island and flies around the world.Getting into trouble and out of it too. Freedom to mess up. Letting go.

Blue Skies

Blue color and feather
Gwenn Tara's blue leg shape. The blue of the sky and the texture which is soft like the feather.
She is holding the blue of the world. I think of Haiti and the white buildings, blue seas, and sky and it being crushed to rubble.

Red Juices

By Suzette

Witness: Jan, 16th, 1010
Dear Buddha Doll, I liked making you, making you round. You are a pushing stone in my side-expanding out- a lump in a nest of blood and body organs...and sometimes you come with nasty stabs like those little wasp-bees in your hair. I love that you are my flesh at its essence. Your ear flirts with me, listening...all that red blood and inner body juices really attract me. I feel my inner self more, all the inner softness of tissue inside of me and the stone or weight of you, at the same time. Stone weight and inner softness, fluid. I like your soft lips, too.
World view of Buddha-doll: I look out with weight and compassion, I am in the nest of your body, and I push out, expanding, flesh and spirit.

Black door Medicine: I need that black door- to close- when I need to close myself from too much stimulation. There is a needed time for closing the door to outer compassion and having compassion for myself....and being with and feeling the black unknown of what will happen...there is music and a black feather on the door...lightness and music. Closing the door of the unknown on the usual way I react.